Stuffed French Toast Brioche
overflowing
with creamy marscapone
and
tart sweet strawberries
dipped forkful by forkful
into orange-honey syrup
sticky sweet and the scent of which I swear still lingers
on my fingers.

and the man with the tiny little puppy
cradled in his arms
walking by and nodding hello
just like so many other people who all seemed to know
you
like the girls who can't stop giggling,
or the ones who smile slow,
and knowing -
the boys who nod, so cool,
and reach out their arms, hands fisted, to tap your knuckles,
then smile when you walk away
like little boys who were smiled at
by a celebrity.

The music
the good stuff as well as the awkward almost embarrasingly bad stuff
so loud that
it was what I felt
and not
what I heard
that lingers behind in my memory
and in my heartbeat
and in my breath;
the way my body moved to the rhythms in a way
I never knew
it wanted to.

The sunshine on my bare shoulders
wind whipping stray strands of hair from under the small black helmet
and stinging my eyes
as I saw the spedometer
hit 90
at the same time the big man
a passenger in a small car
leaned out and grinned
and gave a thumbs up
and your grin
was there on your face
for quite awhile afterwards.

Stark reality
and a little bit
of bitter fear
and such phenomenol courage
blended with adventure
and freedom
and curdled anger
buoyed up by grief, but not denial or avoidance
absolute honesty
like the flashes of red leaves
on a yellowed tree...
weeping sustained for the moment
by distraction -
such relief!
and, such fun...

Stuffed French Toast Brioche
Wide eyed 'children'
Music that moves me
Grins that turn sad eyed adults into purely joyful pre-schoolers
in a flash
and the distraction
of the changing of leaves...
the way that no matter what happens, the advent of the seasons
still comes
and everything still changes
and it is always
in some way
so beautiful
even when you begrudgingly let go
of the season past,
that you can't help but be filled
with peace...
and THAT is why I laughed
when we said goodbye.