Maybe it's a byproduct of hitting 40, or just another aspect of the ways in which my life has changed so much, but I find myself being drawn to reading other bloggers "lists".  You know, like, "Things to Accomplish before 40" or "Resolutions I've Kept" .  Labeled under any variation, they are all lists of things that someone is wanting to do, to become, to see, to experience, to have, or to gain.  I find myself in conversation with both friends and strangers and the topic inevitably comes up, "what place haven't you been yet that you'd love to go?" or "is there some 'thing' you want to do that you haven't had the chance to yet?" or some similar vein.  There is usually always an answer, and it usually comes out quickly.

New Years is approaching and the time for resolutions - another chance to make lists of things you want to do, become, experience, or change.  I'm not one for making resolutions, but I've been thinking so much about peoples lists that I am seriously contemplating making my own 'list' or 'resolution'.

Here is the thing though... I don't want to make a list of things to aquire or experiences to gain, but a list of things to give up.  Emotional housekeeping, soul purging, pest removal, or even the dumping of baggage - pick any cliche you would like to, slap any label on it that you find fitting, but what I'm going to work on is a list of things to stop instead of things to start.

As I turn 40, one of the things I'm going to give up, to let go of, to remove from myself, is the constant fear of 'being' wrong.  Not of giving a wrong answer to some question, but the fear of committing an action that causes someone else to be uncomfortable, irritated, angry, or even allows them to dislike me a little.  I realize finally what my dad used to always say: You Can't Please Everyone All The Time.  The constant stress and anxiety of trying to do so, and the constant failure, isn't productive at all.  The weight of the effort combined with the rate of failure hasn't given me more or better friends, a richer or fuller life, or been rewarding in any sense.  So, sheesh, it's time for me to be a little more engaged in reality and commit the actions that feel right to me, to trust my self, and to know that even if I do something that irritates or annoys someone else, my actions themselves don't define the person that I am.

Focusing on a list of things to stop doing is going to be transforming, maybe more than if I'd crossed off a to do accomplishment.   How about you? What would you like to stop doing?